Musings on the Lake

WOW! How did 19 years pass so fast? I can remember holding her in my arms with her gentle curls and big eyes. And, now, she's going off to college. Life will be so different without her here every day. She says we'll miss her, and she's right. She's the delight in my day and makes me laugh. I've been so preoccupied with my new and changing roles that I haven't taken the time to prepare, grieve, "get over it." I'm afraid it's going to hit me like a ton of bricks. I think as a homeschooling mother it is sometimes harder because we get used to being around our children all the time, and we love that part. When you still have one at home, it's a little easier, but now, the EMPTY NEST is coming soon. Life will be different, and I'll have to look forward and not back.

The longer I live the more I don't know. Just when I think I've got things figured out, I don't. My mother is sick with cancer. It's in her breast and her lung. I thought she wanted to get treatment, but I don't think she can wrap her arms around it. I think it's too overwhelming for her. Twice she's been one step away from finding out a treatment plan, and twice she's cratered. They say the 3rd time's the charm, so we'll see. Maybe a more local doctor won't be as scary - guess we'll just have to see. August 13 - "D" Day - a new oncologist for her.